25 things no one tells you about quitting your job to go it alone

  1. Walking out of the door of your salaried job is the most liberating and terrifying thing you could do. You’re going it alone. You are a hella brave, independent woman.
  2. Initially you will be broke AF.
  3. Où est la motivation?
  4. Working from home is 10% staring blankly at your laptop and 90% loading the dishwasher/ feeding the dog/ painting the ceiling and loitering in Sainsbury’s cafe.
  5. There will be a painfully long period between securing work and receiving money.
  6. Your supportive but sceptical significant other will tell everyone you’ve retired.
  7. You will wish you were 68 so you could actually retire.
  8. You will feel like a small child/ lady of the night when you sheepishly ask your parents/ significant other for money. Again.
  9. You will miss your work wife more than anything.
  10. Student Loans Company will find you, and they will kill you.
  11. When the hairdresser/ plumber / bank manager asks what you do for a living you will tell them you are a housewife because CBA to admit you are not Karen Brady yet.
  12. You wish you could be a legit housewife.
  13. It feels really really great to secure a contract. You’ve made it. You are A SUCCESS!
  14. You can go on holiday whenever you like and be irritatingly smug about it. Hint: cheapest flights seem to be on Tuesdays!
  15. You will wear exclusively jogging bottoms, probably with stains on.
  16. You will do all your shopping online because you are always in for Derek your DPD driver 😉
  17. You can hang out with your grandma in the afternoons.
  18. And watch Pointless.
  19. And spend your “allowance” on fancy stationery.
  20. And worry that you’ve forgotten how to behave in an office environment.
  21. People will ask you what your life plan is and you will worry you’ve made an enormous mistake.
  22. Your dog will get bored of you.
  23. You will feel like the ultimate #bossbabe when you hand out your fancy ass new business card.
  24. You will hear lengthy traffic jam reports on breakfast radio and not care one bit.
  25. Did I mention you can watch Pointless?

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